Life seems to be moving faster than the speed of light!  School is starting tomorrow.  We have instituted a “job chart” this week to keep up on the household cleaning ritual and today my oldest begged to clean the toilets.  They’re doing a great job at picking up their toys and putting away their dishes.  The puppies will force us to be extremely clean too since anything left out will be chewed and/or pooped upon if we don’t keep up on it.

I planned for preschool to be in the mornings so I will have a good block of time to exercise and shower without interruptions.  Hallelujah!  Maybe NOW I can get that belly fat to melt away.  Or maybe I’ll curl up on the couch eating chocolate covered almonds and do some writing instead.  We’ll just see where the wind takes me.    Maybe *gasp* BOTH!  I’ll do some extra jogging to counter-act the chocolate covered almonds.  Sure I will.

As soon as I’ve turned off the shower and I’m drying off I can hear my four-year-old crying. No surprise there. My eight-year-old’s meds haven’t kicked in so he’s mostly interested in picking on his little brother and less interested in eating.
“Do I need to take away socks?” I holler out my bedroom door.
“No! It wasn’t me!” my son hollers back. He sounds believable.
“So why do I hear crying?”
“Waaaa!”
I sighed and wrapped up in the towel, ready for a sob story about how big brother poked him, made a funny face, or breathed on him wrong. Life is full of injustices. I wasn’t ready for the mess as I entered the kitchen.

Apparently my boys had decided to play a magical duet of arm-farting when in a tragic turn of events, the younger one’s elbow knocked the cereal bowl into his lap – sending milk and soggy chex flying out and onto the wood-laminate floors.

At first I tried to clean it with a wet rag but the mess rivaled that of the latest BP oil spill and I needed to be properly clothed into “mommy gear” before I attempted such an undertaking. I sighed again, reminded the boys WHY mommy says not to do armpit-farts at the table (one reason of many is evident right now) and got the youngest cleaned up enough to get down before I ran off to get myself ready.

My youngest had attempted to clean up his own mess with the rag I left there and when I returned had said, “I got tired of cleaning.” Really? Well if that’s all it takes…I’m tired of cleaning too. Again I bit my tongue and just cleaned up the milk and cereal mess. It took two rags and 10 minutes but now the floors under the bar stools are once again spotless.

Hooray for morning messes that force us to clean. Yeay. Woohoo.

When the oldest takes the youngest into the bathroom where daddy works, and their uncle walks in and tells the older one (waiting outside the stall) that there’s another stall open…the youngest shouts from inside his stall, “I’m going poopies! It just takes time!”

They call Dad “Mom” or Mom “Dad” and then quickly correct themselves.

My youngest wakes me up at the crack of dawn by whispering, “Mom. Breakfast.”

My oldest has two identical sets of “superman” pajamas but he somehow knows which pair of pants matches the right top.

He can also make his armpit fart twice in one go – once downward and then another as he draws his elbow back. Quite the talent. I’m so proud.

Then I enrolled them in swimming lessons and now it feels like every hour of my life has been scheduled. I need a missionary blue planner to get through my days! We get up, eat breakfast, pack clothes and head out for swim lessons. Then we play at the park right next to the aquatic center for about ten minutes before running off to get groceries or run other errands. Then it’s time for lunch followed by either a free movie, free bowling, or their friends all coming over at once. Meanwhile, I’m madly working on props, catching up on dishes and laundry, lamenting about how I never feed my fish anymore, and firing out e-mails to the cast and crew about what to expect the following night. Finally we inhale some dinner, dash off to the theatre for dress rehearsals, and carry the kids home in their comatose state, tuck them in bed, and start all over again the next day.

I have a few minutes right now to type this blog but even now, as the kids are out back playing with their friends, there’s a pile of ironing nagging at me and a pile of bills asking, “when are we due?”

Ian has volunteered to work on the sound crew for the play (did I already mention about 5 times now that I’m directing Alice in Wonderland? Oh, I did? How annoying of me) and that means that we both are searching for the right music to play before, during, and after the play. Ian found a great resource called “Jamendo” which provides a place for artists to post their music for others to download and use for free. We found a few gems in there and are excited to get all of the pieces together tonight for our final rehearsal before we have an actual audience.

It’s so fun to have another adult to talk to about the play and so wonderful that it’s my best friend! When it’s over I’ll be enjoying some “down time” in the evenings again. Bring on the two weeks of madness!

There weren’t a lot of people around so I didn’t mind his form of entertainment so long as he wasn’t knocking things down and he stayed close. As I was fingering through skirts in my size he could be heard saying, “I’m falling down the trash tube! Heeeellllp!” Then there was a pause, followed by a delighted, “Oh! Look! I found a really cute belt!” And he retrieved a…very cute belt.

He’s a great shopping buddy granted I don’t spend too much time in any given place. My four-year-old boy’s specialty is shoes. It’s like I’m his own personal barbie doll and he has his definite opinions on what he thinks I should wear. When I emerged from my bedroom with my new duds he gasped and ran over to give me a big hug. My eight-year-old even mid-sentence went “wuh…wow!” So the spree was a success and I’m good with some fresh spring skirts!

Today the constant nagging and questioning that I so dreaded came from my eight-year-old. Right after their morning squabble of course. “Can we go bowling today? Can we invite Noah over? Can we play at the arcade again? Can we go play pool? Speaking of pools, can we go swimming? When are you going to fix my blanket?” *sigh*

So far we have gone back to the mall to exchange something I bought in the wrong size and got away with NOT going back to the arcade (we’re fresh outta quarters, buddy) and then bought fabric for the blanket but because I didn’t say “yes” to the silly putty, I got “When are we going to go do something that I want to do? We never do anything fun!” After a stop at Wal-Mart (where I also said “no” to every movie, toy, and bic lighter they asked for) I was talked into not only going to the “free bowling” scene tonight, but also to the institute building for free “pool table” time.

I’m exhausted already.

Right now I’m going to curl up to “Eat, Pray, Love” but I KNOW I’m going to have to sit down and actually create a “summer schedule” (something I dread more than you know) in order to keep the kids from running all over me or wearing me out! What do you do with your kids in the summer time to keep them busy and remain SANE?

But did anyone see last night’s episode and get a little teary-eyed? I really love the character Rachael. She’s a plucky, over-achieving, gorgeous, geeky girl who dreams of becoming a broadway star. In a previous episode she fell in love with another aspiring star from a glee club from a rival school. In last night’s episode, he (Jesse) not only broke her heart, but joined in with his peers in throwing raw eggs at her while she stood in a parking lot. It was hard enough to watch them all ambush her but when he smashed the final egg over her face, I felt her pain. Maybe I’m not alone in the memories we have of high school cruelty.

I had to skip over pregnant Quinn’s version of “It’s a Man’s, Man’s world” because the vision of a bunch of teenage girls with fake-stuffed bellies bouncing around was just too over-the-top for me and frankly made me want to stab my eyes out with a pen. When Puck, Finn and Mercedes sang “Good Vibrations” by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch I turned to my husband and said, “That’s not funk. That’s rap.” I was happy to hear Mr. Schuster say to the group that…”that wasn’t funk…it was rap,” and that they missed the point. We fast-forwarded through most of that song too because…well…rap music makes my ears bleed.

One of my favorite moments of last night’s episode had to be when Sue Sylvester was writing in her journal about how she realized she had feelings below the neck, after Mr. Schuster basically seduced her. I didn’t agree with Mr. Schuster’s method of getting revenge, but he also had a point. Sue had sabotaged his marriage and future relationships as well as put his school programs in jeopardy time and time again. Still…REVENGE IS NEVER THE ANSWER MR. SCHUSTER! He found that out the hard way. Anyone else glad they didn’t actually kiss? I was curled up in a ball holding my breath until Sue called it off.

The final “Give up the Funk” piece rocked and sent the competition into a well deserved depression. Loved it! What did you all think? Any other “Gleeks” out there? (I hate that term. My brother taught me how to Gleek when I was eight. Maybe they could be called “Glee-geeks” or something?)

“Mommy, do you know what I want to do today?  I want you to play with me when my friend is over.”

“But honey, I don’t think your friend will want me to play with you.  I think you two should just play together while I finish the laundry.”

“But  mommy, I want to always have you with me.  You’re pretty and I like to help you put on your lipstick sometimes and we could all play a video game together.”

Later, when his friend was over and I was putting away the laundry, I walked into his room where I overheard, “Don’t you want to play with my mommy?  She’s pretty, and she has red hair, and she’s nice…” – that’s when I walked in.  His friend looked deeply concerned with eyebrows furrowed.  I just smiled and put away his jammies.  I reassured them that I was far too busy and they should just play together.  As I left, his friend said, “Yeah.  I just want to play with you.  Let’s play Iron Man.”

As we speak, they have decided to sit down and watch “UP” and my son said, “Sit here by my mom and me.”  Now…as sweet as this is…it’s a little weird, don’t you think?  It reminds me of this sketch from Saturday Night Live:

My response was, “Well…no…you don’t HAVE to share.  It’s certainly nice to share and I would hope that you would be kind and share with your friends.”

“But I don’t HAVE to all the time, do I?”

“No, you don’t have to.  You have a right to keep your things to yourself, despite how others might feel about it.  Just remember that it’s always kind to share.”

“I do sometimes.  But I don’t HAVE to.”

And he’s right.  And then I started thinking about all this talk about Obama and “sharing the wealth” and Socialism and all of these words that have been thrown around…and it occurred to me that if my four-year-old gets it…where and when did the adults forget it?

I agree that we should all WANT to share what we have with others, but that we should never be FORCED to share our wealth, property, things that we’ve worked hard for and are rightfully ours.

Socialism – bad and unfair.  So says my four-year-old.

What does “though” mean?

As my children master the English language they begin….asking questions.  These questions have stumped me and worse…left me feeling a little lacking in the “mother knows best” department.  Today I was asked what “scrap” meant and how to spell “T” and “S”.  (Tea?  Tee?  Ess?)

I’ve come to realize that my children still don’t understand probably 5% of the words I use, but they understand me – which leaves me thinking about how amazing people really are.  You just think when kids get to the point where they’re talking to you and understanding your responses that you can say most anything.  And then it’s all, “Whoa, mom!  Back up!  Slow you’re roll!  What are those big words you’re using?”

I don’t want to be one of those people who introduces an official “word of the day” each morning for my kids to use in a sentence three times that day.  My oldest would TOTALLY BE ALL OVER THAT and my youngest would just say, “Huh.  Can I go play a video game?”

Which leads into another completely UN-related subject, but what do you all do with your kids to keep them entertained when school is out for summer?  ‘Cause I KNOW mine are going to be begging at all hours of the day to either be at someone else’s house, or have their friends here, or be playing a video game/watching a movie.  I dread not having a few hours of quiet time.  Mommy likes her quiet time!  And my boys are terrified, TERRIFIED of wasps.  So outdoor activities only last so long.  We’ll be putting out tons of traps very soon I think.